Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
