i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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