So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
