Four minutes until I can fart!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm at about main and main street
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
