chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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