Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
