Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
