I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize