new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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