Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
