why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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