I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
