Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
