pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
