nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
