i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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