I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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