Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
