Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Every concussion has its silver lining
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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