you have to choose: penises or morals?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize