I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
