I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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