i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
