I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
this will be a night to untag.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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