note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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