I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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