Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel

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(734): View more from Michigan

Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?

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(415): View more from California

Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.

(503): View more from Oregon

Cooked or uncooked?

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(361): View more from Texas

Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed

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(765): View more from Indiana

Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?

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(317): View more from Indiana

Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus

(1-317): View more from Indiana

tequila?

(317): View more from Indiana

yep

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(630): View more from Illinois

Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.

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(407): View more from Florida

Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.

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