Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
