woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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