508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
