2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
