he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
