No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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