You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
