I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
