you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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