Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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