He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
