Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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