you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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