He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize