I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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