he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
