I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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