I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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