soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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