it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize