i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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