I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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