i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
