But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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