And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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