Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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