he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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