why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
