I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
