I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
