either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
