He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
