that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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