i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
even my farts smell like vagina
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
