I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
