I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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