everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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