Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
