24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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