I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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